News: Car maker 2014 April Fools' jokes round-up
BRACE YOURSELF for bad puns, far-fetched new models and over-detailed, tongue-in-cheek explanations.
BRACE YOURSELF for bad puns, far-fetched new models and over-detailed, tongue-in-cheek explanations: today is April Fools’ Day, the day when car makers officially have a joke at your expense, rather than unofficially the rest of the year…
Throughout today, we’ll be scouting the horizon for the worst offenders and posting their foolishness here, so do return for updates.
Mini
The car: Mini Cooper T
The joke: Sounds like “cuppa tea”
Best line: “Benefits from DAT or Dunk Avoidance Technology. This ingenious filtration system stops peckish owners and opportunistic passers-by from inserting biscuits into the Mini T’s fuel tank to moisten their snacks.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★★☆
BMW
The car: All BMWs
The joke: Driving slow never felt so fast thanks to Force Injection Booster (FIB) and BMW AirNet, the latest in hair-protection technology.
Best line: “A mild electric current is delivered through the front seats, to simulate the exhilarating feeling of driving at high speed.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★☆☆
Skoda
The car: Yeti
The joke: Keep warm as toast thanks to the Yeti’s optional faux fur covering developed by Dr Yu Ciddingme, and available with side partings and fur extensions.
Best line: “People like to give it a hug and a tickle under the bumper.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★☆☆
Volkswagen
The car: Amarok
The joke: Car maker has teamed up with the RSPCA to teach dogs to drive a pick-up (much like this).
Best line: “People wanting to steer clear of the dog-driven pick-up should look out for an Amarok pick-up with the number FR5T APR.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★★☆
Peugeot
The car: All Peugeots
The joke: Car maker launches a library of personalised car horn sounds to give drivers freedom of expression.
Best line: “Hopefully, thousands of Peugeot customers will be looking forward to getting their own horn later this year.”
Chuckle rating: ★★☆☆☆
Citroën
The car: C4 Cactus Arsenal edition
The joke: Special edition aimed at Arsenal fans features GOALIE (Geo Organised Away-day Location, Information and Entertainment Interface) pre-loaded with the team’s away fixtures, a database of pie and mash vendors, and a playlist of chants.
Best line: “Not available at Citroën Tottenham.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★☆☆
Vauxhall
The car: Astra Copacabana
The joke: Special edition celebrates Brazil World Cup with themed exterior graphics, seats upholstered with “genuine” Rio turf and footwells filled with sand from Copacabana beach. Car horn has choice of Samba or Vuvuzela tones.
Best line: “Every car comes with a certificate confirming the authenticity of the sacred greenery.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★☆☆
Honda (US)
The car: Honda Fit Kit
The joke: Honda launches a self-build car comprising 180,000 mechanical parts, shipped to your door by drone. One for so-called “handcrafters”.
Best line: “We’re excited by another of our projects using tubes and fuses from 1960s amplifiers, with which we plan to make a collage of my mother’s face.”
Chuckle rating: ★★★★★
